There are many things in life that we dont have any control over, such as the weather. We may wish and pray for snow or sunshine but really it doesn’t matter what we do, that decision is already made for us and we just have to accept it and take the day as it comes. That’s not the only thing that we have no control over.
We have no control over when our loved ones need to leave us. We have to just deal with it as best as we can. I used to be selfish and beg them to try and hold on for me because I didnt know what I would do without them but this time its different. It’s not that i dont want her to be on earth any more its just, i know that she has never been 100% happy since he has gone.
She wants to be with him and who am I to deny her of that right? She has been strong for all of us for 12 years and now maybe this is her time to greive and go get the man that she chose to marry after such a short period of time.
I dont know how i will react when she is gone, well i do. I will be distraught and i wont know how to deal with it, i will cry more tears than i have ever cried before, but this time i wont be angry or bitter. I think this time i will be more accepting.
Its not a definite that you are going, but i refuse to cling on to any sort of positivity just in case it does end up bad news.
I just wanted to let you know that i love you and if you have to go. Please just make sure that i get to say goodbye first.
