There are a million things rushing round my head and lots of different people tellin me what to do. None of them are what i want to do.
I want to talk to you but i have been advised against it, leave it this long, dont talk to him this week, dont you call or text him first make him do the running but i know thats not going to happen.
I know that in the end of this all i am going to be the one left alone and wondering what if. What if i hadnt stayed all the time would we still be together? What if you had never met her? What if i never let you phone your dad, what would your excuse be then?
All i can sit and do is cry and i know that you are getting on with your life when i just cant. I cant deal with not knowing what brought it on so out of the blue, i wasnt the only one who was shocked. Yet im left with all the hurt and saddness that i never ever thought could ever be possible.
All i want is for you to turn round and tell me that you where wrong. That being away from me doesnt change anything, that you want me back and you are sorry that i ever ever needed to go through all of this.
But this is not a Disney story. This is real life and for some strange reason we have it in our minds that life is meant to be, but nobody ever told us it would be.
Nobody ever promised that things would work out the way that we wanted them to so why do we become so upset or angry when it doesnt work out with our plan?
I just hope that this pain goes away because i cant handle it. I cant handle feelin like part of me is missing. I just want you to know this.
But i know you never will.
